The Birth of Hana

Awaking to a sharp pain and a rush of moisture, I knew our little one was going to be joining us soon. It was about 6:30 am on Saturday October 6th, after I got cleaned up a bit I asked my best friend, partner and papa-to-be, “Would you like to meet your daughter today?” His response was an emphatic “Yes, but I am going to sleep now, since I won’t get to sleep anymore” which only lasted a few minutes before his excitement got the better of him. We spent the next 3 hours getting things ready, making a few phone calls, resting and taking a walk around the neighborhood on a beautiful, cloudless day. I felt better moving then being still and sitting on the ball rocking. It was relaxing and peaceful, breathing with the surges and allowing my throat to open calling out to my Hana when the surges got more intense.

When the surges were consistently about 4 minutes apart, we decided it was time to load the car and get to the birthing center. Upon arrival and exam it was determined it would be a long process and maybe by late tonight we would deliver. I knew that our little girl had other plans.

We created a beautiful environment with our music playing, recommended lovingly by so many of our loved ones, and of course the HypnoBirthing relaxations that were so familiar from our months of practice. As soon as I heard the familiar words of the Rainbow relaxation I felt my body release as I followed the guidance and surrendered into the moment.  Bryan was reading stories softly or reminding me to relax, release and breathe. My mother was also by my side reciting beautiful stories of my own birth and childhood as she stroked my face. I entered a deep state of relaxation filling my balloon of breath when the surges arrived imaging the color blue filling my uterus and opening fully to allow Hana to move down.

It wasn’t long before I was feeling urges to push and could feel Hana moving further and further down. I was deeply withdrawn inside my birthing body and connecting to my precious one. I had some intense surges where I found it really difficult to keep my body still I needed to move, sing, call out, so I followed my instincts and did just that.

Around 4:00 pm the room became very busy with preparations. The bed I was laying on was converted to a delivery table and Bryan was dressed in scrubs and I knew it wouldn’t be long. The strength and encouragement that Bryan gave me was amazing. This truly was a team effort, I could feel his love for both Hana and I every moment.

As the intensity increased I was focusing on breathing Hana down both during the surges and in between. There were times that it was so intense that I lost my breath, but Bryan and Dr. Kim were both there to remind me to breathe deeply and slowly. It wasn’t long before our little girl took her first breath and we heard her cry. Our hearts opened as we stared in amazement, at the being that we had created but who was now on her own journey. As my mother had reminded me earlier, this is the first of many times you will have to let her go.

The whole experience was beyond words. The intensity that changes so quickly into love for your child and for everyone who experienced it with you. I feel so blessed to have my family and friends around me and a wonderful hospital staff that took such good care of all of us. We are well on our way in the parenting journey. It has presented us with many challenges we were expecting and a few that we weren’t. But outweighing all of it is the intense and deep love and fascination we have for our Hana. I look deep into her eyes and know that she has so much to teach us, she is an old soul with so much wisdom. I am blessed to be her mother and witness in life.

-Shauna Hylenski, South Korea